Shit

I'm getting myself deeper. It's so wrong in everyway, he's completely messed up. I just can't stay away. He's there every weekend. I try to ignore him but he comes to me. I can't help but smile, blush and give every sign that I want a relationship. He's so bad, he got arrested last year but he was released because he wasn't really involved but he was in a unrelated way. He smokes pot, drinks, parties, has probalby had a billion girls, dropped out of school, works full time. But those girls weren't actual relationships, I think he wants something real with me. I feel so out of control but so in control at the same time. I know I'm attracted to him but I feel aware, like I know that he needs to straighten out first, I'm gonna help him, Imma try. He just needs someone I can tell. I can see right through him, behind all the BS. Everyone walked out on him, who can blame him for the way he is. He's so happy at work to be around people, I can see it. This is going to screw me up so bad, I just know. I don't need this junior year, but I can't stay away. Why am I so attracted to him? He's everything I hate.