Memories

I've always had a small box in my room. I remember when I was little I put down my most important memories. There isn't really much. There are three notes inside with two picture of my cat Molo. Who I miss so much. I loved him. The notes are about six years old. It says,

"Look for Dawah my friend. When I grow up, become a singer and never drink or smoke. Since my dad smokes and I wish he would stop. Always remember Selys Rivera, my best friend since we were seven years old. My second best friend Stephani who always said things about the popular girls to help me feel better when they made fun of me. (Don't remember this at all) Have lots of cats their my favorite animal. Dawah lives on 33 Oberlin Street, Worcester, Massachusetts. Give money to the hospital. Go to church every Sunday in memory of God who has helped me through my asthma. Thank God for allowing me to have nothing serious."
And of course, Selys' favorite part where it says, "Name my kids, InuYasha, Kagome, Kikyo and Sesshomaru" lol.

I have to find Dawah some day.

...

Ok. I clearly only write here, when I'm upset, annoyed or just blah. Ok well Im sick of his lies, I'm sick of him in general. Thats all I have to say lol

Ok well, lately I´ve been talking to this guy a lot from school. Like I mean we´re friends but I never thought like I´d start to like him. He´s the funniest person I´ve ever known too. lol. But I dont even know, I´m so confuzed because there´s this other guy too. I used to think ifyou felt butterflies then that meant you like him!?!?!?! But I don´t even know because I don´t feel butterflies for either one. So I think I actually don´t like anyone??? I´m so confuzed. I´m always confuzed. In general I always know what I want, if I dont care then I say it. But when it comes to relationships it gets so complicated for me. I´ve never been in a relationship because I never even give anyone a chance. I dont know why I´m like this. Well I do, honestly it just I anazlye the relationship. Then I already know, that it won´t work, why even try something that won´t work. It saves heatbreak. You know what? I think I just solved my own problem. I´m not ready for a relationship, funny how I´m almost 17. Deep down I wan´t a good relationship with a commitment. Not something meaningless with high school relationships. So I guess, to put in general, I´d rather have no commitment relationship at all right now. Just date, see how it goes for fun. It shouldn´t be like that though. You know, I used to think that nobody took me seriously. But now I know that its me. I dont take anyone seriously. It all just a joke.